Tgerdess of Bricolage
by Obsidian-Shield
Summary: I knew I had to find somewhere else to live before the other goblins find me – or worse, I run out of food – but I had no idea that fate had its own special way of butting in. (Rating will be changed due to planned future events, on hold due to the annoying writer's block)
1. Prologue

Things weren't exactly going nicely for me lately ever since I got caught 'playing with trash' last night. Stezom already put more of those floggin spiked balls in my pockets, when they would fit a lot better into his face, then threw me into this old, empty wooden box and we both made insults at each other that truly only a goblin would understand... until I haphazardly discarated, or however those tall ones say that confusing word, the warchieftain that I never seen before; I remember this argument more than everything else that happened back in the camp.

"Even little goblins know not play with trash, Tgerd! Tgerd stay in bad box til Warchieftain Grodax find what Tgerd done!"

"Tgerd think Stezom afraid of Tgerd. Think Tgerd use head to beat Stezom into dirt." Stezom spitted at me almost right after I said this.

"Stezom not scared of weakling Tgerd! Ha ha ha, Tgerd already forget Stezom throw Tgerd in bad box with one hand! Stezom proud that Tgerd stay in bad box after Stezom enjoy Warchieftain party!" The Warchieftain party, as most goblins call it, was more like how a tall one would enjoy their "birth day" party, except only Grodax was allowed to have one, and everyone was expected to treat him like he was some kind of god.

"Stezom think Tgerd stay in bad box and still believe beddy-time tale of Grodax? Tgerd think Stezom koo-koos." At that very moment, Stezom's face twisted itself to look more like a monster. At that point, I knew Stezom was a firm believer is Grodax's 'glory', since I must have made him very, very mad.

"WHAT?! Grodax not from beddy-time tale! Grodax bestest goblin leader every goblin knows! Stezom tell Grodax what Tgerd say about Grodax, then-"

"If Stezom believe in mean, scary, stinky goblin, then Tgerd believe in... in orange-head tall one trash picker with big metal stick stuck on back!" Stezom was madder than I thought goblins could ever be and punched the wooden box I was in very hard, which surprised me, but I was more surprised that the box didn't even make one crack in the walls.

"**SHUT UP TGERD!** Grodax himself kill Tgerd for insulting great warchieftain!" Stezom then ran over to the center of the camp. That was the argument we had, the one that made me leave the goblin camp for good after I used my thinking power to escape that box... and since every single goblin was too busy celebrating a fake goblin from a beddy-time tale, I used the extra time to throw away the pointless spike balls and take as much food with me as I could carry before I finally left the goblin camp. I knew I had to find somewhere else to live before the other goblins find me – or worse, I run out of food – but I had no idea that fate had its own special way of butting in.


	2. Ermahtgerd! Hermins!

Things weren't exactly going nicely for me lately ever since I got caught 'playing with trash' last night. Stezom already put more of those floggin spiked balls in my pockets, when they would fit a lot better into his face, then threw me into this old, empty wooden box and we both made insults at each other that truly only a goblin would understand... until I haphazardly discarated, or however those tall ones say that confusing word, the warchieftain that I never seen before; I remember this argument more than everything else that happened back in the camp.

"Even little goblins know not play with trash, Tgerd! Tgerd stay in bad box til Warchieftain Grodax find what Tgerd done!"

"Tgerd think Stezom afraid of Tgerd. Think Tgerd use head to beat Stezom into dirt." Stezom spitted at me almost right after I said this.

"Stezom not scared of weakling Tgerd! Ha ha ha, Tgerd already forget Stezom throw Tgerd in bad box with one hand! Stezom proud that Tgerd stay in bad box after Stezom enjoy Warchieftain party!" The Warchieftain party, as most goblins call it, was more like how a tall one would enjoy their "birth day" party, except only Grodax was allowed to have one, and everyone was expected to treat him like he was some kind of god.

"Stezom think Tgerd stay in bad box and still believe beddy-time tale of Grodax? Tgerd think Stezom koo-koos." At that very moment, Stezom's face twisted itself to look more like a monster. At that point, I knew Stezom was a firm believer is Grodax's 'glory', since I must have made him very, very mad.

"WHAT?! Grodax not from beddy-time tale! Grodax bestest goblin leader every goblin knows! Stezom tell Grodax what Tgerd say about Grodax, then-"

"If Stezom believe in mean, scary, stinky goblin, then Tgerd believe in... in orange-head tall one trash picker with big metal stick stuck on back!" Stezom was madder than I thought goblins could ever be and punched the wooden box I was in very hard, which surprised me, but I was more surprised that the box didn't even make one crack in the walls.

"**SHUT UP TGERD!** Grodax himself kill Tgerd for insulting great warchieftain!" Stezom then ran over to the center of the camp. That was the argument we had, the one that made me leave the goblin camp for good after I used my thinking power to escape that box... and since every single goblin was too busy celebrating a fake goblin from a beddy-time tale, I used the extra time to throw away the pointless spike balls and take as much food with me as I could carry before I finally left the goblin camp. I knew I had to find somewhere else to live before the other goblins find me – or worse, I run out of food – but I had no idea that fate had its own special way of butting in.

**I can't believe I never mentioned this in the chapter, or the story at all, but Tgerd's appearance is supposed to be closer to a goblin scout than his actual in-game sprite. I'm relying too heavily on my imagination and I need to stop assuming things so much.**


	3. One End to the Other

**This is the chapter I gave you a heads-up on, guys. This is where things get slightly questionable with the mechanic's aforementioned naivete – and curiosity – which causes the T rating. If you want to skip this chapter, then get outta here and wait for the next chapter; this one just proves that the mechanic can, and does, trust Tgerd before he has to run away empty-handed and get caught by the goblins he's trying to stay away from. That's it.**

I slept surprisingly good that night, but my old instincts still made me wake up just before the sun came out of its home and almost made me forget that I was actually in this big green box instead of my old home in the goblin camp. I took a deep breath and stretched while my arm managed to bump into Sally's feet, who was just sitting next to a long piece of cloth all clumped together almost like a ball.

"Oh sorry," she said, noticing that I was now awake, "I didn't bother you, did I?"

"No Sally," I replied, "Tgerd always awake before sun. Tgerd not angry."

"Ok good; I wasn't sure if I moved around too much." I just shook my head and there was a brief silence while I carefully glanced at her legs, just now realizing Sally was wearing different cloth that only reaches her knees instead of the longer piece with big loops that she wrapped around her shoulders, then she started to wonder a little more about the goblins. "So... I know you told me you guys like to fight a lot because it's like your whole life, but... what about the ones that don't like fighting so much? What happens to them?" I didn't want to tell her. I didn't want to explain all the things that happen to the goblins who wouldn't, or couldn't, fight more-or-less like the barbarians we wanted to avoid.

"Bad things," I finally said after waiting a long time, "really bad things happen if goblin not fight like a... a monster. That's why Tgerd be chased by others and not want Tall One humans to –" Sally pushed her hand over my mouth to stop me from finishing what I was going to say, but I was glad she did... for more than the feeling of her soft skin.

"Stop, Tigger, I think I understand now. You can't follow me home because you're worried that the other goblins might find you and think we're helping you, you said that already... but you're more worried that they'll find me, think I'm a 'trash picker' and put me through whatever really bad things you're telling me about. Tigger cares about Sally." those last four words froze me in place and left me without words, even after she lowered her hand. She knew. She knew that I wanted her to be safe in her home and away from the other goblins that were trying to find me. She knew I cared about her, and her cute, innocent smile with lowered eyes squeezed the truth out of me like the juice from a tasty fruit.

"T-Tgerd just wants happy Sally... Tgerd likes Sally."

"Oh, I'm already happy, Tigger," she murmured softly, "and I definitely trust you... I just wish you didn't have anyone chasing you." I just simply moved closer and looped my arms around her, then she did the same to me for a short time before remembering something. "Hey, Tigger... let go for a moment. I wanna make this better for you. Remember when you said you liked how my squishy hand felt?"

"Yeah, Sally liked Tgerd's leather hand too, right?"

"Yep. Well, I have an idea that should make it much better. It's kinda like holding more than our hands, so we'll be able to get more of the soft, squishy, leathery feeling we like so much." Even Stezom wouldn't take very long to realize what she had to do to even test her idea, but I was really more curious about her choice than concerned.

"Tgerd knows what Sally about to do," I whispered, making sure only she hears what I'm saying, "Tgerd can just hold squishy hand if Sally doesn't-"

"Shhh... it's my idea and I can trust you Tigger. Holding hands was nice, but I know you want more. You did your best to make me happy and I'll remember you for it, but now it's my turn to make you happy. I know this might be too early and it normally doesn't happen, Tigger, but I still want us to enjoy this time we have... just in case I don't see you again." All I could really do was thank her for how nice she was to me, then she thanked me for being 'considiret', whatever that word means, before she pulled off the cloth covering the top part of her body, which also showed _another_ weird-shaped cloth that was hiding under.

"Sally has a lot of cloth," I said with surprise, "Tgerd never seen this much cloth even on same goblin before."

"All humans have a lot of it," Sally giggled, "but we don't all wear the same thing all the time since we have so much."

"Oh... is Sally take that cloth out too?"

"No, this one stays on... this time. If we see each other again, I might do it though, but this is something no one else can see."

"No one can see... because Sally only trust Tgerd?"

"Ha ha, yeah, I only trust you with this... now come here and hold me tight." We never expected the feeling to rush over us like a big water wave, even when we knew that it would be better than just holding our hands together. This was the best idea Sally thought of; we loved how our skins felt on each other so much, it just felt like a dream that we hated to wake up from, but even if we stayed like this long enough for the sun to climb out of its home three times, we still had to leave so Sally could go back to her home where it was safe.

In the end, I ran far away from the green box hoping that the other goblins would stay far away from Sally, but I was totally unaware that some of the other goblins ambushed me while I was looking for food and knocked me out.


	4. Go to Jail, Do Not Collect 2 Gold Coins

I knew I was in big trouble when I started to see a lot of shadows in my very cloudy sight. Their voices were too familiar and filled with hate, while the shadows themselves seemed deformed with pointed ears sticking out like they were stabbed with knives. When I could actually see straight again, I realized that these 'shadows' are actually the other goblins, the exact same goblins I was running away from in the first place, and all these torches everywhere I saw led me to believe I was back in the camp. Things were only getting worse from now on, especially since they must have tied me up so I couldn't move and the goblins were all insulting me and kicking me around like a broken toy.

"Throw this bad goblin in dark cave! Grodax command this!" I knew that was Stezom's voice; I could recognize that rattling, angry shout from anywhere in the area, even if I wasn't able to actually see him. This time though, I really wanted to make him mad... and I knew just what would do it, too.

"Dark cave can't scare Tgerd! Tgerd escape from Tall Ones just like Tgerd escape here before!" My little plan worked much better than I thought it would; the entire camp was silent right after I shouted back at Stezom _and_ some of the goblins even started to slowly back away from me like I was a bloodthirsty monster. They were actually starting to _fear_ me! Even Stezom himself couldn't believe what I just said to him!

"No... n-no one gets trapped by Tall Ones and live! Even full goblin clans die from Tall Ones' tiny camp! How can one wimpy goblin escape Tall Ones alive?"

"Tgerd lucky to see only one Tall One, but still tricked Tall One to help Tgerd without fighting."

"Tgerd not survive Tall One," one of the goblins realized, "Tgerd is traitor of clan! Tgerd try to help Tall Ones kill goblin clan!" Their fear disappeared really fast and they were back to being angry at me like I didn't say anything at all, but I didn't care anymore. If I was going to die in some big hole in the ground, then at least I got a big scare from them all. I didn't even try to break free from the ropes they tied me into, as much as I wanted to see the Tall One Sally again, because even if I did escape from these ropes, I wouldn't be able to find my way to the Tall One that trusted me... or out of the cave at the very least.

I tumbled, rolled, and bounced for quite a while and somehow landed on something soft that gave off its own light without fire or burning anything, but it looked almost like the green stuff we all stepped on forever, except this was blue. Actually, everything was giving off a blue light in this cave and it confused me pretty hard, but the really big mushrooms made me think I was having a strange dream... until I saw something sticking out of the blue grass: it was about as tall as I was, but it looked like a sharp, pointy thing made of some rock, so I crawled pretty much like a worm all the way to this sharp rock and tried to stand myself up against it, something really hard to do without my arms or legs to help out. I wanted to know if this rock could actually break these ropes that took a big beating on the way to this spot, or if I would be acting like a worm for who knows how long before it all ends harshly. I rubbed the ropes against the rock slowly at first, trying to make sure I don't end up hurting myself, but before I knew what happened, the rock nearly cut into my skin. I wasn't sure if it actually was because of the rope or the rock, but it didn't matter much; the rope wasn't trapping me anymore and I was getting very hungry. I didn't want to eat these blue mushrooms since I had no idea if they would kill me or not, but I ripped one of them from the blue grass anyway and bit into the strangely soft skin. I instantly hated the taste; it felt like I was chewing on a rotten piece of a tree branch and I _really_ wanted to spit it out and forget I even tried this horrible idea, but I wanted to see Sally again... I wanted her to know I was still alive and this was the only thing making me eat the mushrooms around here while I stay trapped in this blue glowing field for what I was sure was a long time before a much brighter, yellowish light slowly shined in the distance and grew even brighter as it floated toward me... a Tall One was controlling this light, which was just a torch but smaller than the ones back in the camp, and my survival instincts forced me to run to this Tall One and beg for its help. "Please, must help," I cried a little weakly, "other goblins tie up... throw Tgerd in big hole... end up here... musss..." I couldn't even say much before I strangely felt very weak, and collapsed before I knew what happened.

The next thing I knew, I was laying on something soft with my head hurting and my sight was cloudy again, just like before, except now there were no goblins anywhere and everything looked a lot different than the goblin camp; the wood walls looked much better, some boxes stacked were made of metal, and there were even tall wooden boxes that looked like tiny houses! This place was even weirder than the blue grass field I was trapped in before. My cloud vision was hurting my head more, so I just closed my eyes hoping the pain would go away.

"Good, you're awake," a soft voice spoke to me, "nothing seems to be broken, but you might want to lay still and rest your head for a while... oh, and please eat this. Tim said you were really hungry. I opened my eyes to see a rather large apple held by the Tall One who talked to me. Of course, I tore the apple from the Tall One's hand and bit off a large chunk of the fruit, a much better choice than those mushrooms I had to force myself to eat before. "Nice to see you're all right," the Tall One said calmly, realizing I was in no danger of anything bad happening, "and I would get you some more, but I have someone else to take care of right now." The Tall One then then left to another part of the large house to do what it said, but I managed to eat the entire apple before the Tall One left my sight. The soft material of what I was laying on was somehow making me tired, even though I was still hungry a little, and my head was still hurting too so I decided to stay on this comfy thing and ended up falling asleep in a few minutes.


End file.
